Completely Untrue Facts: The Big Ten

In honor of the college football season, we're going conference by conference extrapolating useless facts and lies about each team. Since we live and die by the Wisconsin Badgers (we die a lot...), today we start with the Big Ten.

Illinois: In 1976, while coaching at Orville High School in Orville, Ohio, Ron Zook made extra money by working as a male stripper in nearby Wooster.

Indiana: Despite overwhelming support from the student body, the President of the University of Indiana steadfastly refuses to change the schools motto to "Texas Tech Likes Sloppy Seconds".

Iowa: Kirk Ferentz once wrote a book entitled "101 Sexual Uses for Corn, and Other Football Strategy".

Michigan: The student health administration at the University of Michigan reported a 55% increase in condom purchases during Tom Brady's time at the college.

Michigan State: Michingan State fans were the only people in the world who were suprised when Jeff Smoker admitted his addiction to drugs.

Minnesota: During his time as head coach at U of M, Glen Mason regularly "borrowed" the Goldy Gopher costume for furry parties at his house.

Northwestern: Northwestern alumni are the only people in America who aren't joking when they reference "the good old days when we had Gary Barnett"

Ohio State: Jim Tressel mistakingly thinks his sweater vests make him look sassy, when in reality they just look gay.

Penn State: Joe Pa once had a threesome with two cheerleaders in the Penn State press box, thus the name "Happy Valley".

Purdue: This spring Joe Tiller unsuccessfully petitioned for a 12th year of eligibility for Drew Brees.

Wisconsin: The Iowa Hawkeyes logo on Bret Bielema's calf covers up the original "Milwaukee Mustangs 4-Ever" tattoo he got during his time with the Arena League franchise.